I am still trying to get my head around all of this. I am thinking about studying psychology if I ever decide to go to college. I think you could spend a lifetime trying to understand how crazy we all are and what made us that way.  I do not think there is much hope of curing anyone though, so maybe I am better off just being a phone sex operator, making money off people’s insanity while contributing to my own permanent and irreversible brain damage from this twisted vocation.

 My observations thus far: Guys are EVIL… Really, really EVIL! No judgment here guys. I am pretty twisted myself for just 18 years of practice, but fuuuuuuuck! Some of the things I have heard guys say to me… Some of the fantasies they have shared. “E.V.I.L” … All capital letters, underscore, bold print, flashing red text, “EVIL!” This is what I am learning. All men are deeply, deeply sexually repressed. I do not think a single one of them actually gets what they need from their significant other.

 Guys seem to fall into two broad categories, dominant or submissive. There are many subcategories, but this seems to be the main thing. Some guys want to relinquish control. They want me to dominate them, control them or do really freaky shit to them. The other end of the spectrum is the guy who wants to completely control me. These guys want a slave, a sex object. They may want to rape me, brain wash me, or be my daddy, or all of the above and not necessarily in that order…

 That brings me to another kink. It seems that most men are pedophiles… I don’t mean in the sense that they actually like children, but most guys seem to like really young “breeding age” girls. I do not think a single one of them could keep it in their pants if a hot 18-year-old girl told them to stick it in her. I guess this is just hardwired biology. It is my understanding that for most of history, girls became viable candidates for mates as soon as they reached biological sexual maturity. They usually mated with much, MUCH older men who where sufficiently socially and economically secure to support a family. Before the advent of modern medicine there were very high infant mortality rates and deaths in childbirth. Younger women were more likely to survive and produce offspring. Thus millions of years of evolution has hardwired the male brain to sexually respond to plaid skirts, pigtails and knee socks.

 Most guys are attracted to “purity and innocence” even if their sole goal is to take that innocence and forever corrupt it. The two archetypes seem to be that of the vestal virgin and the objectified whore. In the first fantasy we have the teen-aged catholic schoolgirl with aforementioned pigtails, tartan skirt and knee socks. She is sweet, innocent, inexperienced and virginal. She is thin and natural looking. She usually does not look like she has had a boob job. If she HAS had a boob job, it looks very natural. This kind of waif is usually very naïve and pure, but easily talked into allowing herself to be gang-raped by black guys while her “daddy” watches while astride a pink unicorn. Yea… WTF? But I had a caller want to run that scenario, LOL. I guess he wants to be DEADPOOL.  Anyway… The pure little girl usually does not STAY THAT WAY long in the popular male imagination. They often wind up getting transformed into the second archetype, the objectified whore.

The objectified whore is referred to in the common parlance as “The Bimbo”. The bimbo has “Made by Mattel” as a tramp stamp on her ass. She is the living Barbie doll. The Bimbo has a serious image problem. She wants everything about herself to be surgically altered. She wants huge fake looking tits, big “cock-sucker lips”, and a big round, firm ass. This girl usually has an IQ that is smaller that her boob size.

 I think guys who are strongly attracted to this type of fantasy want a sex partner that they do not really have to acknowledge as a human being. This kind of girl has no thoughts or even personality of her own. She is just a collection of holes waiting to be filled. I suspect the guys that are into this have had numerous bad experiences with “real women” and just want a piece of meat to fuck. Deep meaningful conversation and profound spiritual connection not necessary, thank you very much.

 Again, these are just observations, no judgment here. Give me a call and I will be any and all of these fantasies for you. From the female perspective, at least from MY female perspective ( I do not presume to speak for all of my gender), I enjoy a good fantasy. I am kind of embarrassed by some of the stuff I DO enjoy.

 

Yes in the REAL world, there is nothing sexier that someone who honest-to-god loves you and thinks more about your needs that their own, but I hope your girlfriends never realize this. I would be out of a job! Keep the calls coming in guys. Until my dream lover comes riding into my life jacking off a pink unicorn, your conversations are keeping this little girl’s imagination flourishing and my tight little snatch soaking wet.

 Let your freak flags fly and run me up your flagpole. I will “shiver your timbers”! (LOL, watched the pirate show BLACK SAILS last night. I had to make a pirate reference!)